I am working on a happiness manual. This is an ongoing project where I will keep an anthology of ideas for finding joy at this particular time in my life.
Here’s the book so far. ‘How to Grow: The Manual’
Do you want to hide under someone’s coat? Yes, me too, sometimes. This is a manual of how to find pleasure in everyday life.
Idea Number 1: Run Away from your Problems
Put on some sensible shoes and run out of the house, down the street and into the world. I try and believe that I could run all the way to the sea if I wanted, and it is a very freeing feeling. Or, I make up a person (dead or alive) who is waiting for me at the end of the run and picture that person and run to them. If it is late, run westwards, try to catch up with sun, or if it’s early run to the east. I’m not sure why, but it is nice chasing the sun. By the time all of the above endeavours haven’t worked, you’ll have forgotten what’s worrying you and can turn back and run home, hotter, happier and with a renewed sense of freedom. Here’s me and my trainers after a run. I don’t own sports clothes because a). they’re not flattering and b). I think it’s funny to run through life like you’ve forgotten your P.E. kit and are heading for Land’s End before the sun sets into the arms of a welcoming celebrity.
Idea Number 2: Take Yourself Out
Invite yourself out for a drink. It’s wonderful. Treat yourself to a cup of something and sit at a table, alone, like a mysterious stranger. Enjoy being quiet in the bustle of a busy bar or the breeze of an empty cafe. You should always order your favourite thing, because this is an act of kindness. Don’t be scared that you look stood up, even that’s often more desired, more glamorous, more inspiring then the truth: that you’re fed up. Enjoy this moment where nothing can let you down, because it’s just you and you’re favourite treat, that you can pay for by yourself and devour. Here is a recent coffee, and whilst I don’t want to endorse any places in particular, if you live in Manchester, you must visit Slattery’s Patissier and Chocolatier in Whitefield, Bury. On this instance, they nearly couldn’t fit me in, but the Maître d’ gave me a wink and squeezed me in (logistically much easier when you’re a lone-diner).
Idea Number 3: Don’t Save the Best Until Last
Don’t get scared of using your best things. Seize them the minute they’re yours and let them get soaked, broken, eaten etc. Whilst it’s not quite the same; when they put me on a water metre I found turning the taps on in my house became a nightmare, even though it was meant to save me money. I felt like money was literally pouring through my fingers. It wasn’t a good way to live. I had to have a word with myself: stop being thrifty and start enjoying life. Here’s a photo of my Grandmother’s best cutlery, that was in tissue, in boxes until she died, an unused wedding present. I admire the way she cherished them, and there’s something important about that too, but there’s something brilliant about treating every day like it’s a best day (in small ways). Perfect pearl handles and Sheffield steel cutting through beans on toast or a chippy tea.
Idea Number 4: Do Nice Things for Others that are Free and Simple
How much does it cost to paint someone’s nails? Probably 5p of nail varnish, 4p of a nail file, 3p of a hand cream, free chat, free hand massage, free craftsmanship. How much would you pay? A lot more. I really like looking after people’s hands and feet because it gives so much enjoyment for a relatively a small input (you don’t want to be a martyr). It’s very simple, but your attention, care and conversation are free, yet priceless. Here are my grandmother’s hands, but I wish you could see her face beaming!
Idea Number 5: Grow Wild Things
Caring for things is satisfying. My lifestyle isn’t compatible with pets or partners at the moment, but plants are fine. In the warm spell we just had in March I sowed seeds for salads and poppies. I love getting my hands in compost, glugging water everywhere and wondering what might happen next. If you need a quick fix, and aren’t normally this way inclined, go for cress. Cress has a speedy turnaround (fully grown in days), is very resilient for such a small thing (it will even grow on cotton wool if you remember that from school) and is retro (as salad goes). Here’s my pots.
Idea Number 6: Have a (moderately impressive) Trick up your Sleeve
This is really an extension of Idea Number 4. My trick is poached eggs, I have no idea why, but people are always impressed or at least grateful for one. Perhaps it’s because they (the eggs) defy logic (normally you can’t chuck something watery into water and pull it out whole, never mind in a cartoon cloud shape), or because intrinsically people are lazy and like being cooked for. Recently I made half a dozen poached eggs for people at work and it was the greatest gift you could bestow a workplace. It was good to a). eat together b). defy the office kitchen limits and c). do something normal yet out of place. What’s nice about a poached egg is you can watch it cook and don’t need to time it, so it also restores faith in human instincts. God, it couldn’t be easier, but everyone thinks it’s a miracle! Here’s a recent poached egg (top) and a happy colleague (below).
Idea Number 7: Spend a Fortune in Charity Shops
Everyone wins! Plus, you can get a renewed sense of fate.
